Relationships have different life stages. It always has a beginning that is paved with pure intentions. Then it gets more serious as time goes by. Some relationships break up and change partners. But there are those that reach the marrying stage. Here is the “general pattern” of a boy/girl relationship:
The Getting To Know Stage:
This is also known as the dating stage. The time when you put your best foot forward. But at the same time, you get to know each other a little better. This is the time that you become good friends from being acquaintances. It is also cool to go out with a group of friends and other companies. Here way you get to see his/her interpersonal skills and how he/she treats other people.
The Steady Stage:
This is also known as the boyfriend/girlfriend stage. A season in your relationship when you get more exclusive. The best time to get to know each other on a deeper level. A perfect season in your relationship where you show your real self. No more best foot forward with the goal and a vision of taking the relationship to the next level.
The Engagement Stage:
This is the stage of the relationship when the boy kneels down, shows the ring, and pops up the question. Known as the next level of a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. “Will you marry me” are known to be 4 very powerful words. It is the beginning of a new and more mature stage of your life. This is the time to prepare for your wedding day.
These stages are the usual pattern of a boy/girl relationship. In the modern era, some of these are skipped and it’s ok. The whole point is that couples get to know each other. And when they “tie the knot” and get married there will be no regrets. Not many surprises, especially in terms of attitude, both good and bad.
Unfortunately, most couples prepare only for the wedding. That special event is celebrated only for one day. It is only a celebration of a blessed union between a groom and a bride. But the transition from wedding to marriage is where everything changes.
The pressure, duties, and responsibilities of married life cause both husband and wife to burn out. As they live together, they discover differences that they can’t seem to reconcile. There are many more factors for a marriage to break down.
Money is one of the major sources of conflict. Having kids is also a major shift. It means that your lifestyle will have to change. Especially when the baby comes, there will be sleepy and tired days. And equally sleepless and more tired nights. And if you can’t find the satisfaction of parenthood, you might pass on the stress to your spouse. This will be the start of worse situations for your marriage.
It is very good, however, that nowadays there are excellent couples therapy sessions. Here they will not only help you get back on your marriage track. But they will also guide you through communication and intimacy issues. They will serve as a support group who will aim to not only resolve your conflicts. But they will also help to restore peace, unity, and connection in your marriage.
There is no one solution to fix breaking marriages. If there is only a magic wand to do this then all marriages will be happy. But there are different ways to start your relationships right. And as discussed earlier, all these should be done during the first stages. Especially during the steady and engagement stage. This will serve as the basic foundation for a long and lasting marriage.
Open Communication Lines
If this is being practiced at the start of your relationship, then it eliminates lying. Aside from speaking with full honesty, being a good listener is also part of good communication. It even helps that there is full attention whenever you talk. Especially when the matter is serious. You have to remove all distractions and keep eye contact.
There are simple ways to earn trust. Do what you say you will do. Come to me to meetings and agreements on time. Keep secrets between you and your spouse only. And show full honesty.
These things can be the hardest things to do. And it is because it was never practiced since the start of the relationship. Do all these at the start and it becomes a habit. And when it becomes a habit then you can be assured these issues will never get in the way of your marriage.
Spend Quality Time:
It is understood that you have work to do. You need to make money. Quality time is either something that you set up during the week. But if it is not possible then the time you spend together must have undivided attention. This means it should not have distractions. You talk eye to eye and not look at your gadget. Better yet, use your spouse’s love language effectively.
These are basic guidelines that can help your marriage. But there are still many things to do. But at the end of the day, remember that your marriage matters. It must be a top priority to give it time, attention, and importance. This way you will enjoy your marriage for all its worth.