mistakes in divorce

8 Common Mistakes in Divorce and How to Avoid Them

VWB Blog 1 year ago 1

People consider divorce one of the top ten most stressful life events one could experience. Any type of breakup is challenging, but when you add in the legal stressors of divorce, it takes it to a whole new level.

Even if you and your spouse are filing for divorce for the right reasons, it’s not going to be easy. We’re here with a few common mistakes in divorce that separating couples tend to make. Read on to learn more.

Letting Emotions Guide You

This is the worst thing that you can do when you’re managing a divorce. It’s understandable that you’d be upset and overwhelmed during your divorce. You’re dealing with one of the most stressful events that you’ll ever experience, and there are emotions running hot.

You can’t let your emotions take control. You need to stay rational and aware of your situation. Remember, divorce is a legal process.

Remember that you and your former partner have to come to an agreement at the end of the day. The faster you do that, the faster you’re able to return to your lives.

Try to approach this as calmly as possible. If necessary, see a counselor on your own time so you can stay level and get your emotions out in a healthier environment.

Involving the Children

If you have children, you know that your divorce is going to become even more complicated. Between child custody modifications, decisions made about the children’s lives, and child support payments, children add a whole new level to the divorce process.

Each parent wants what’s best for the child, but it’s easier for their judgment to get clouded. Many parents want full custody, often because they want to harm the other parent.

The judge will always try to make a decision that’s best for the child. Don’t try to throw the other parent under the bus if they’re competent and capable of raising your child.

Don’t bad-mouth the other parent to your child or try to bribe your child to stay with you. This turns divorce into a child’s problem, and that should never be the case.

Turning It Into a Battle

A divorce will feel like a battle, but it isn’t one. Again, it’s a legal process. You’re there to dissolve your marriage and ensure that both parties are treated fairly.

You’re not dueling against your former partner and you shouldn’t think of things in terms of winning and losing.

Not Trying to Come to an Agreement

On that note, you should do your best to come to an agreement and collaborate.

If the divorce was amicable, this isn’t difficult. Before even involving mediators or lawyers, have an open and honest conversation about how you want the divorce to go.

Are there any belongings that one of you is passionate about keeping? Is there anything that one party should keep in mind that might not be immediately obvious?

If you talk it out first, you’ll have a quicker and easier divorce with far fewer tears shed.

If the divorce wasn’t amicable, coming to an agreement will be harder. We recommend using a mediator (who remains neutral) if it’s possible to do so.

Not Using a Lawyer

Hiring a divorce lawyer is always a good idea unless you and your former partner are in complete agreement. Even if that’s the case, because divorce is a legal process, a lawyer will help you both ensure that you’re doing everything by the book.

You’ll want to find the best family lawyers Sydney (or anywhere else) has to offer. A good divorce lawyer will walk their client through the process, make sure they’re getting their fair share, and view the case with a neutral lens.

A lawyer sees things clearly so you don’t have to. If you get emotional, a lawyer will take over.

Talking About It Online

In a time when we’re all constantly posting sensitive details of our lives online, it’s tempting to talk about divorce as well. This is a bad idea.

When you talk about any type of legal case online, the court can use it against you. Your former spouse or their lawyer may be able to use something you say as evidence.

You should avoid posting anything that could have any influence on the divorce process. Don’t speak ill of your former spouse or say anything about what they’re doing.

Don’t post about major purchases as this could impact the outcome of your case and the process of dividing assets in divorce negotiations.

Being Too Stubborn (Or Giving in)

You should never stay too close to either end of this spectrum: giving in vs standing your ground.

In a divorce, both partners will be treated fairly, but that doesn’t mean they’ll both like the outcome. It’s more than possible that you won’t get what you want.

If you’re too stubborn, you’ll prolong the divorce process and you won’t sway the judge.

On the other end, you don’t want to give in right away either. It’s okay to protest and find a happy middle ground.

Not Taking Care of Yourself

Divorce is challenging. You’re going through a lot. Take time for yourself.

Spend time with friends and family members who support you. If you have mutual friends with your former partner, try not to get them to choose sides. Hang out with them without badmouthing the other party.

See a therapist, find a new hobby, and make sure you’re eating well and exercising. This will be over soon.

Avoid These Common Mistakes in Divorce

These mistakes in divorce are commonplace, but they can be seriously detrimental. Keep them in mind when you’re going through the challenging divorce process. Remember, there’s a light at the end of the tunnel even if this seems challenging now.

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